Bob
Bogash
| Return to the Magdalen Islands |
Bob
Bogash
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| This (turned out) to be the first of a six page mini-story. Each page is segued to the following by Links at the bottom. Among my many failings were some poor attempts at writing poetry. Recently, I came across a sample piece that I sent to Dot more than 35 years ago. It seemed to perhaps touch the current situation, so I added it to the bottom of this page (for those who give up half-way down, or less.) My wife Dot was born and raised in the Magdalen Islands - a small archipelago in the middle of the Gulf of St. Lawrence in the Canadian Maritimes.  Although she left when she was 18 in September 1954, it has always been Home and is where many in her large extended family and many friends resided. It's also where many are buried in the small cemetery in Havre-Aubert.  Here's Dot - about 1945 - she's holding the baby - 4 generations   Every time Dot went to the Islands, she was surrounded by friends and family.
  A Sing-along  Surface travel to the Magdalene's requires a 5-6 hour voyage aboard a sizeable ship from PEI (Prince Edward Island.) Here is the opening shot of the steamship company's webpage - it show's Dot's house!!!    
Her ancestral house - built by her Father about 1918
When Dot was sick, we discussed a place for her (our) burial. We
had two reserved spots in the local Hansville Cemetery - we've had them for
over 20 years. It's a lovely cemetery. Here she is in the very room where she was born     Here she is during a visit  L-R Father Augustin, Brother Henri, Grandfather Honore As it turned out, a major obstacle prevented that from happening. The Chinese Covid pandemic had resulted in the U.S./Canada border being closed to passage. And gatherings for occasions like funerals were severely restricted - or prohibited entirely. And - there was another problem with that course of action. The Havre-Aubert cemetery has a policy against "reserving" plots. That meant when I died, if I should be buried there also, I would not be buried alongside her. In my old age, I have only one, single desire - and that is to be buried alongside my Dot. So, that option was ruled out. In the year after her interment in the Hansville Cemetery, I gave this a lot of thought. Last Summer, her brother Louis-Philippe died and someone sent me a video and photos of his funeral.  Nothing and Nobody. Except me - until I join her.
 Dot's grave and "my" bench Except. Except there is one big DOWN SIDE to this scheme. I would not be able to make my daily trips to the cemetery to visit her. That is a major concern. In the end, I figured FOREVER was better than a mere few years of visits. Perhaps I will keep going to sit by her spot just the same. And So, and so I began a near year long effort to see if I could make that happen and move her back Home. I had an idea - that if they wouldn't reserve a spot alongside her, then maybe we could be buried together in one grave. It is not uncommon - Sir Winston Churchill and his wife Clementine are so buried.  With the help of Dot's nephew, Louis-Armand Cormier, and the Havre-Aubert Cemetery management, Andre LeBlanc of the LeBlanc Funeral Home in the Magdalen Islands, the local grave-diggers, and research of the government of Quebec Regulations, the way was cleared. A double burial could be accomplished - the both of us in one grave. That solved one problem. I then met with Lynn Henrickson at the local Poulsbo funeral home, - she and I have become good friends working through the myriad challenges - and also talked with the caretakers of the Hansville Cemetery. The way was then cleared for her exhumation. The paperwork is fairly straightforward. Actually, many people get relocated - and usually for the same reason - to be with Family. Ultimately, coordination's with 5 funeral homes, the Canadian government, Customs, Air Canada and Westjet airlines, several trucking companies and firms specializing in trans-border shipment of human remains became involved - among many, many more. Even an outfit that will shrink wrap her casket. A huge project, occupying my time for weeks and months - and one still not finally decided upon and certainly not yet accomplished.  One insurmountable issue (for me) arose, and that was the airline/trucking requirement to have her remains removed from her current casket, the casket and enclosed items discarded, placement in a new hermetically sealed steel metal transportation shell (known as a Ziegler case), and then a re-transfer into a new casket on arrival in the Magdalen Islands. This was unacceptable to me. And I have totally ignored costs in this project - money is no consideration. When Dot died, I bathed and dressed her and participated actively in her placement in her casket with a considerable quantity of carefully selected and cherished memorabilia. I refused to allow those things to be swept aside.  One of many, many items in her casket - a pillow she made for me from fur from our dog Chiba. I used it for her. Ultimately, after whittling this log down to a toothpick, splinter by splinter, we arrived at the only acceptable final solution. If Dot was going to return Home to the Magdalen Islands, then I was going to have to drive her there - myself. And that's the Plan. As currently sketched out, with details being fleshed out daily, after exhumation, she would be driven across the border by the local mortuary to a funeral home near Vancouver, trans-loaded into my rented truck, and then driven the 5000 miles across Canada to the Magdalen Islands.  The trip is planned for 10 days at 500 miles/day and about 12 hours/day. After her re-interment in Havre-Aubert, placement of two gravestones (one for me, complete except for a final date), a Celebration of Life event in her house - the house in which she was born - then I would return the rental truck to Boston and fly home. (See some details at the bottom of this page.) Two questions remain, one out of our control and one entirely within my control. The first involves condition of the casket on exhumation. If the casket shows signs of deterioration precluding continued use, I would terminate the exhumation. The casket would be re-lowered into its vault and the grave re-closed. Game over. We may have failed but we gave it our best shot - that's for sure. Originally, I had contemplated her exhumation upon my death, and the shipment of us both back together. That would have solved the side-by-side problem. But Time is not your friend in an exhumation. Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust. Depending on my date of death, it could be very problematic. This summer will mark two years that she has been in the ground. Her casket (per cemetery requirements) is in a concrete vault, but neither casket nor vault are water tight. Still, the chances are good that her casket will be in pretty good shape. (As noted above, we will not know for sure until we start digging.) That, and the permission for a double-burial, became the driving forces for me to move out on this and make it happen - if it was ever going to happen - this summer. The second question involves my readiness to embark on this truly epic trip. A lot of risks - mechanical breakdowns, illness along the way, bad weather. And especially, especially - my confidence in my physical ability to undertake such a grueling trip. By my reckoning, I have made at least 9 cross-country drive trips across the USA and Canada. I know exactly what is involved! Now 79 - technically in my 80th year on this planet, I am fighting vision and arthritis problems that some might (legitimately) say argues strongly against such a fool-hardy endeavor. Those of you who have read my Dot Memorial webpage perhaps realize that I (we) have never been one to take the "safe" route, to avoid risks, etc. I have always been the one to have followed "the road not taken." The Road Not Taken BY ROBERT FROST Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Dot and I followed that less traveled path our entire lives together - over half a century - from our elopement and marriage together - alone - in 1970 to my being her sole care-giver during the years of her final illnesses and bathing, dressing, and preparing her for her funeral after she passed. In fact, I was completely alone with her during her burial and participated actively in the digging and closing of her grave. In that light, driving her - alone - 5000 miles, seems to fit right in to our chosen path through life. A chance to spend another 10 days alone, with my girl. Perhaps, in writing this (writing usually makes things more clear for me), I have laid out a strong argument in my mind for saying YES! - go for it. What would Dot say? People always ask that question. On this, I have absolutely, positively NO question in my mind. People are always "speaking" for dead people, but in this case, I can, and with authority, and absolute certainty. She'd say what she ALWAYS said: "You decide, Bob, you decide." She said that so often I always said I was going to put that phrase on her tombstone. Well, this might not be exactly that - but it's close. Needless to say, this would not be a vacation trip - no stopping at National Parks or Museums - I would be driving the mortal remains of my dear wife across the continent, and doing so would require a sun-up to sun-down marathon lasting up to two weeks, with a lot of round pegs required to fall into a lot of round holes. Fingers crossed, and I will keep you apprised. I might listen to "common sense", shelve this idea and plod on, wondering about what "might have been." But, if you know me, you know I hate "might have been's".  Back Home in the Magdalen Islands - the RIGHT thing to do.... Gonna bust my ass to make this happen, Dot. Yet - Still a TBD. The ball is clearly in my court. Right now, my pencil scribblings have marked Tuesday Sept 5 as exhumation, Thursday Sept 7 as departure, Sunday/Monday Sept 17/18 as re-interment, Celebration as Mon/Tue Sept 18/19, departure for PEI Weds/Thurs Sept 20/21, Return to SEA from Boston on Fri/Sat Sept 22/23. We'll see. We'll see. The truck and ferry availability are very restrictive, so I will have to decide fairly quickly. I'll keep you all apprised. The following is a poem I crafted for Dot more than 35 years ago - which I'll share with you - those of you who have made it this far down the page. At the time, we were approaching about 10 years on our farm - Charley Horse Ranch, raising sheep and draft horses. A big change from Hawaii and Montreal. But, were we on the right path? Not just "my" path. Was it "her" path too? Was she happy? 
     Some (of many) Trip Details The Devil is in the Details - and I am a Detail Man!   Crowsnest Highway - Highway 3   Road conditions - Highway 3 - Crowsnest Highway  Crossing the Prairies through Winnipeg  Thunder Bay - Kapuskasing - Val D'Or - Montreal - Montmagny    North Shore St. Lawrence to Quebec City - then South Shore Highway 20 to Riviere du Loup  Riviere-du-Loup - Fredricton - Moncton - Charlottetown - Iles de la Madeleine  Ferry Schedule Available Dates and Open Spots There are NO open spots for all of July and August, so this will have to be in September - which is already starting to fill up.    Be it ever so Humble, there's no place like Home |
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Copyright 2023 Robert Bogash.
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